Bass Gone Wild

Did you know that the dudes that modeled for the Carvin catalogs also put out music?  Crazy I know.  Sort of like the instruments that Carvin makes, their artists' records are pretty hard to come by.  Thankfully, You Tube has done a great job of breathing some life into the undead corpse of instrumental bass funk.

Before the first note rings out, I can always spot an incoming undead funk attack.  A couple things I have learned to keep an eye out for:

1 - Body Glove bracelets
2 - No sign of sleeves anywhere
3 - Bass trem

These undead creatures of funk may try to trick you from time to time by breaking one (or all) of these rules.  Case in point, this guy.

See how tricky these funkers can be?  I was all like "sweet, this dude's gonna kick ass on some Domino or Lick it Up."  But then he tricked me and before I knew it he funked my brains all to hell with some Randy Coven (of course Lock Nut pointed out that I wouldn't have been so funked up over it if I had actually read the disclaimer at the beginning).

While I'm not sure that Randy Coven ever appeared in a Carvin catalog, he really should have.

Then there's this whole other breed of uber aggro funker that seems to be angry at their own existence.  They not only try to funk up your brains, but they seem annoyed at the lengths they have to go to do it.

(Steve Bailey hates how much he practiced to funk so much @ 36:25)

In trying to make sense of such a funked up genre of music, I realized that it was actually pretty simple.  Instrumental funk bass is the musical equivalent of tits on a duck.  It's just weird and all wrong.