My Sea-Doo Will Beat Getting Cross On A Yacht Any Day

If I ever bought a yacht, I would make sure that these two guys came with it.

Not only would it impress the skirts off the ladies, it would be totally functional too.  I mean, what if you got stuck out at sea with a stalled motor and a starter that shit the bed?  Kenny B (or whatever that soprano sax guy's name is) would sure come in handy...I mean, that motor ain't going to suck start itself.

Plus, I could finally ask Christopher what the hell he was running from in "Ride Like the Wind"...

Judging by the looks of his band, they must have piled up a crap ton of overdue library fees.

Back to boats...to be honest, the chances of me ever owning a yacht are about as good as my dust whip getting by one of those sniffer dogs coming back from Tijuana.  This is fine by be, because I'd rather be thrashin' on my Sea-Doo any day of the week over some boat that requires me to stick my pinkie fingers out any time I grab a drink.
 
Of course, whenever I'm wastin' waves on my Sea-Doo, you KNOW I'm crankin' out some Jan Hammer on my custom Sea-Doo hi-fi system.

Needless to say, I am a Jan Hammer fan, so when Lock Nut told me that he worked on a sweet collabo with Neal Schon, I nearly customized my under drawers.

I'm just glad they were able to finish the record before Neal figured out the sweet Audi 5k dropping off his girl each morning was the same one showing up at the studio in the afternoon.  Now that would have made for an awkward day of hit tracking!

Alright...I need to get my 'Doo mix tape updated  before I hit the waves this weekend.  This new track is sure to incinerate some bikini bottoms down there in the OBX!

Cougars In The City At Night With Jimmy

Every now and then something comes across our desk that catches our eyes and ears.  In some of those cases its actually not me temporarily coming out of a blackout, ralphing all over myself and Lock Nut's Commodore 64.

Before I get into the thing that came across our desk and wasn't second hand Rainbow cuisine...I'd like to go into the way-back machine.

(Blogmatub)

...and review the history of lyrics I can understand.

Songs about the night...

Songs about the city (and the night)...

Songs about Jimmy...

("Pretty good jam from 1984 Van Halen Always like Alex's Balls out" says guy behind the drum kit)

Another song about Jimmy...

More songs about Jimmy...

Songs about porkin' cougars...

And that is pretty much the extent of what I can understand (lyrically speaking and otherwise), so needless to say, I was more than stoked to get a new tape across the Blogmadesk to blast in the ol' snow sled.  Especially since it had lyrics that I could relate to.

 

Night: Check

City: Check

City at Night: Check

I can only assume one of their gig butts had to step over a passed out Jimmy during load in, and at least one of the band dudes took home a couger to pork after the show...in the city...at night.

Sustainiac Flexi-disc demo

The next three and a half minutes will most likely change the way you feel about harmonic feedback and infinite sustain. Maniac Music proudly presented the "Sustainiac Sustain System" demonstration flexi-disc in the August 1987 issue of Guitar Player magazine. Bassists were not forgotten.

This pickup was one of Tee Top's favorites back in the late 80s and he was glad to hear that some guy named Synyster Gates was using one in his signature guitar. Here's some footage of him using this unique product :



Hmmm, not as impressive as the flexi-disc but at least it's back on the market!

Tumble Core

I dug up some awesome stuff in my mom's basement during the Xmas holidays and uploaded it to this thing called Tumblr. Sneak preview below. Check out all the hot shots here!

Bring H.E.A.T. to the U.S.A. ! !

H.E.A.T. has been one of the shining stars of modern Swedish AOR based on their first two albums featuring the vocals Kenny Leckremo. He sadly left the band a few years ago due to health issues.

We were as surprised as anyone to hear that former Swedish idol contestant Erik Gronwall had been tapped as Kenny's replacement, especially after witnessing the judges severely constipated reaction to his stellar Skid Row cover.



Things certainly seemed to be on the upswing by the time he unleashed his Iron Maiden cover.



But I did not expect to see him fully transform into the budding Gram Bonnet he's developed into as H.E.A.T.'s new vocalist.



So why am I upset? Because back here in the "good ole" USA, there is NO H.E.A.T. on Emusic, NO H.E.A.T. on Spotify, and only the FIRST H.E.A.T. album on iTunes. Now, it's a good album, but their sophomore album "Freedom Rock" is a GREAT album, and it'll run you $30 bucks for an import!

I think Lock Nut may have been onto something when he stumbled into the room in his sweat pants last night screaming: 

"Oh sure, if you want to watch faux hawked posers stomping their feet in front of the bespectacled creative class there's no shortage of THAT available"



"How about New Yorkers churning out mounds of licensable "down home music"? Yeah, we've got plenty of that to go around too!"



In a true open market we would have access to the music of our choice.
We need H.E.A.T. in the U.S.A. ! !

Oil Rig Mosh

What's up with this warning on my Obituary "Frozen Alive (In Poland)" DVD?

"The copyright proprietor has licensed the programme (including its soundtrack) comprised in this digital versatile disc for home use only.  All other rights reserved. The definition of home use excludes the see of this digital versatile disc at locations such as clubs, coaches, hospitals, hotels, oil rigs, prisons and schools" 

 ??

I could've sworn there was a former Dokken/current Foreigner bassist versed in music rights laws that could clear this up, but maybe I'm thinking of someone else.

I Don't Understand Hardcore

Even though they only had one good song, I think we'd all agree that Crossfade was one of the best Southern post grunge acts of the mid-aughts. These guys had an air tight snare drum sound and one of the best backup singers in the genre: Tony Byroads.

  

So my little cousin Bobby sent me this, knowing I've been a long time Crossfade fan. Is this a joke or are they actually into Crossfade? He also told me this was a STRAIGHT EDGE band. That means NO drugs, NO drinking, and NO smoking!